Oceanic Experiences 101

We brought Laney and Cali to the beach to teach us how to do the beach California style - the beginners course.

1. Bring absolutely everything in your house and truck it to the beach. Food in case the kids get hungry, a different sunscreen for each childs special skin needs, a ginormeous camera to capture every tortueous moment of hauling the stuff to the beach, 1 gallon/ per person of water because although you are right next to the largest body of water known to man, you can't drink any of it. Don't forget 10 towels, 3 blankets, the already large and heavy diaper bag, the umbrella, a boogie board, and buckets and shovels for each child so they don't get upset.

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2. Don't tell the first timer that the water moves of it's own volition until AFTER she's in the water.

3. Move out of the way when said first timer experiences her first little wave.

4. Let the REAL Californians show you how it's done.

5. Turn the traumatized two year olds' back to the source of evil and 20 minutes later you might get a smile.

6. Maintain a 50 yard distance from the source of evil at all time. 

7. Lucy is darling. But we all already knew that.